01. Writer
–

Kathryn Gillespie

---

02. Theme
–

Found

---

03. MUSIC INSPIRATION
–

The Mountain Goats:
Family Happiness

---

04. WRITING
–

Stasis in Cycle

You are listening to dead people all the time.
I’m trimming my cuticles with exacto knives 
while louder ghosts play on our radio,
clutching hard won figments of me, 
though I always cycle back 
to fatal worst, dipping toes 
in acid again, screaming
I tried my best
to learn. 

We bury conflicts quick in unmarked graves, 
sleep uneasy in beds unmade with strife, 
rest our heads on mirrors painting 
our whispers just too soft to know
where this spiral starts 
and who it dredges 
down. 

I’ll crack my face with raging tears. 
You’ll find me a pinned butterfly
marked in inefficient
pattern, singing odes to
circling carrion 
birds.  

01. Writer
–

Kathryn Gillespie

---

02. Theme
–

Work

---

03. MUSIC INSPIRATION
–

Hozier:
Work Song

---

04. WRITING
–

Is this the kind of way 
we are at night when sun sinks
below belt of ground and fractured sunlight
like cherry topping caress of hip below the kind of way we light
our candles fire sparking up the match 
distracted or

is this burning heat 
of passion consumed by promises eating through good judgement
like climbing up the goalpost drunk alighting like are we burning out
between the embers fraying are we heat death beneath our fingers
are we dancing soft in gravel hellstrip sighing chameleons of social disease
cringing to sing who are we working on empty stomachs and full lungs 
and fueled lunges to oblivion of dusk 

and why is it such work for me to feel this sweet 

01. Writer
–

Kathryn Gillespie

---

02. Theme
–

Resentment

---

03. MUSIC INSPIRATION
–

Hayley Williams:
Leave It Alone

---

04. WRITING
–

February 29th, 2020

First night alone it snowed

called him- 
he said he was clearing 
the walkways with table salt 
drawing lines of futility 
never breaking down 
cold shifting in sheets 
across the blacktop
just biding time until 

okay 
fuck you
get home on your own 

called him- 
said they were still together 

and I sat my heart beside the space heater 
protected all I had left with my life
bundled under piles of quilts 
drained my breath into the air
like fog machine clouding 
thick waves of apathy 
newly laced with 
pocket knives

called him- 

no answer. 
none. 

expected 
to wake up new with day as sterling 
crisp and light as white of blank page
beneath my boots

expected 
him to miss my warmth that night
curled like cat around 
stark beaming absent
me.

instead 
found the ground gray 
and giving beneath heels
squelching sick with misery singing 
unrequited ballad cold
alone 

instead 
picked up piece of me I dropped 
lodged it heavy and clumsy
and careful til it was nodding 
asleep inside crook of my throat 

picked out 
splinter of him still jabbed
in my palm from last time I held 
a piece of love could have 
turned the sky 

but didn't. 

01. Writer
–

Kathryn Gillespie

---

02. Theme
–

Flow

---

03. MUSIC INSPIRATION
–

Old Gray:
Wolves

---

04. WRITING
–

Ars Poetica

I.
Pretend- 

believe narrative 
is source of life
better than ours 

that I am literary 

in lines from genius 
skullcracking wit 
pouring out weary ears 

like Claudius carved me
vessel to prove 

II.
Olives crammed into a jar 
like brain trying to skull 
through metaphor 

but switch kitchen light 
into flickers and dance

in harsh of oscillating 
dark finding home

in endings 
where I do not understand 
there to be endings.  

III. 
Glib 
and overwrought

like sentiment draining 
sick down throat 

never write again 

or 
spin basket haphazard 
with lines plucked from beak 
of moment woven
on clumsy loom 

as prayer
let it all break down 
atop your skull 

and Begin 

never end 
Begin 

01. Writer
–

Kathryn Gillespie

---

02. Theme
–

Distant

---

03. MUSIC INSPIRATION
–

The Smashing Pumpkins:
Heavy Metal Machine

---

04. WRITING
–

221 

steps through the park 
to the railroad tracks
with my dog every morning

wait for her to shit 
bag it up 
and fling it at the train 

don’t give a damn what I do 
in this ending world 

know the conductor 
hates herself as much as me 

know I’m only writing this poem 
because I’m angry 

because I’m sick

because I stopped on my walk 
to watch two monarchs flirt

thought 
you’re all supposed to be gone 

by now

01. Writer
–

Kathryn Gillespie

---

02. Theme
–

Elevation

---

03. MUSIC INSPIRATION
–

Death Cab for Cutie:
Transatlanticism

---

04. WRITING
–

On Topography

Never understood
maps and bright shades,
splaying forth in tree ring watercolor,
coding pages with secrets of height,
distance. And cannot understand
as layer and layer,
reads higher and higher,
blending hues as earth
kisses itself tectonic.

Trenched in valley,
you cannot teach me elevation,
altitude, like reaching hilltops,
each finger gliding softly
across weathered page
can’t speak to breeze against
grass hewn skin, sinking.