Resentment: Kathryn Gillespie
01. Writer
–
Kathryn Gillespie
02. Theme
–
Resentment
03. MUSIC INSPIRATION
–
Hayley Williams:
Leave It Alone
04. WRITING
–
February 29th, 2020
First night alone it snowed
called him-
he said he was clearing
the walkways with table salt
drawing lines of futility
never breaking down
cold shifting in sheets
across the blacktop
just biding time until
okay
fuck you
get home on your own
called him-
said they were still together
and I sat my heart beside the space heater
protected all I had left with my life
bundled under piles of quilts
drained my breath into the air
like fog machine clouding
thick waves of apathy
newly laced with
pocket knives
called him-
no answer.
none.
expected
to wake up new with day as sterling
crisp and light as white of blank page
beneath my boots
expected
him to miss my warmth that night
curled like cat around
stark beaming absent
me.
instead
found the ground gray
and giving beneath heels
squelching sick with misery singing
unrequited ballad cold
alone
instead
picked up piece of me I dropped
lodged it heavy and clumsy
and careful til it was nodding
asleep inside crook of my throat
picked out
splinter of him still jabbed
in my palm from last time I held
a piece of love could have
turned the sky
but didn't.